fortunately, i won't be writing all that way. but i do have some random thoughts and ideas i'd like to share:
1. i have slept my psychology class all term. self fulfilling prophecy...will I fail? I don't know.
2. when you already have the runs, shouldn't you just eat more shit to mess up your stomach? for some odd reason I have a particularly explosive butt that prohibits me from being no more than 2 feet away from the toilet. Thusly, i shall make some chocolate chip oatmeal cookies, cooking them half raw and eating them, but drinking them with water.
3. studies have proven that drinking milk while you have a runny nose does not produce excess mucus. so all you snot nosed folks, drink on!
4. john galliano got fired from his own company for admiring hitler. i'm not saying they were wrong, but damn, to be fired from your own company, how do you collect unemployment? ("see, i'm not saying i'm a racist or anything, you lazy person handling my claim, i'm just saying hitler was efficient. do you have any jewish friends? oh...what do i do for a living? i wear a pencil thin mustache and make really great couture? the name of the company? why...what do you mean i can't collect unemployment because my company is still in business? are you jewish....")
5. eating dijon mustard with a sore throat is a really bad idea. that shit went flying through my right nostril and i think i set my dishes on fire. not to mention my throat repelled water when i drank it.
6. i love my friends, they are trying to help me get a job...but it's like bombardment! send me your resume NOW!!! NOW!! NOW!!! oh man, the moment has passed.
7. speaking of, why would i take a job that pays less than what i make a week in unemployment. allow me to elaborate. i would have to pay for transportation (regardless) before and after care expenses and everything when i could just sit on my ass and make more money getting unemployment. of course if this goes all summer, i'd best get the best grades in class. no excuse for not studying.
8. charlie sheen is walking for bipolar awareness. isn't this a daily thing for him? think hard, you'll get the joke.
9. the internet is not the best way to have a relationship. i was talking to this dude and we broke up because i saw that he was a user and said shit like all gays have aids and will be struck down by god....blah blah blah...he was mexican. i called him a beaner and told him to go fuck himself.
10. why is it that when i give my 8 year old full control of the tv, she decides that her bedroom is way more interesting. but when i'm watching a show on tv, she has got to watch wow wow fucking wubbzy at that very moment or the world will end?
11. i don't talk to people who are energy/soul suckers. they bombard you with their problems and just take all your energy, then proceed to hang up saying, 'wow, i feel better!'
jennifer lopez aka square face is the most beautiful woman in the world? i can't wait to see the backlash on that issue of people magazine.
enjoy Will Ferrell speaking Spanish with Diego y Gael